


Monthly Minion Meeting

by MarrowInTheBone



Category: Super Mario & Related Fandoms
Genre: Gen, Humor, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:53:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25294996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarrowInTheBone/pseuds/MarrowInTheBone
Summary: It's time for the Monthly Minion Meeting (MMM for short) where Bowser addresses what the future plans are for the Koopa Troop––mainly, how they'll defeat Mario. This MMM, however, there are some unexpected guests...
Relationships: Luigi & Mario (Nintendo)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 54





	Monthly Minion Meeting

"Bowser, are you here?"

The high-pitched voice of Kamek reached Bowser's ears as he shuffled his notes and straightened them out against a nearby desk. "Yeah," he called out. He could hear the shuffle of Kamek's robe against the stone floors as he approached.

"Oh, good," Kamek said. "I was hoping to perhaps run a last-minute suggestion by you before the meeting starts?"

Bowser turned around with a quirk on the eyebrow. "Like what?"

"Well, while I realize that you're trying to maintain a certain..." Kamek twirled his hand about, " _aesthetic,_ I truly think you should retire the lava room. That Mario uses it as a weapon against you moreso than the other way around."

Bowser huffed. "Absolutely not. When people think 'Bowser,' they also think 'lava.' If I don't have any lava, people will be disappointed!"

"I know, I know, and I'm not saying to _never_ use lava, but maybe this time, don't have a wooden bridge over lava with an axe ready to cut the suspension?" He paused for a bit. "Or a button."

Bowser grunted, crossing his arms. "Don't worry, that's already in my plans. I'll miss the retro feel of it, but it's time we modernize."

"Yes, exactly," Kamek nodded, adjusting his glasses. "Well, that's all I wanted to discuss. Oh, actually, how are your new contacts doing?"

Bowser smirked. "Crystal clear." He had been recommended a new brand, and so far his vision had been clearer and more vivid.

"Good. I'll go take my seat now."

Bowser quickly brushed his claws through his hair. "Before you go, how does my hair look?"

"Positively spiffy, Lord Bowser." With those final words, he went down the stairs of the stage.

Bowser cleared his throat and snapped his fingers at some of the Koopa Troopa stage crew as he walked to the center of the stage. The Koopa Troopas were quick in pulling the ropes and making the red curtains open up to a round of applause and cheers from the audience. He let them celebrate his arrival for a moment before he rose his hand and ushered a wave of silence. He allowed himself a quiet laugh as he set down his notes on the podium before him and adjusted the microphone.

"Welcome, everyone, to the Monthly Minion Meeting!"

* * *

The meeting had gone smoothly thus far, and Bowser had decided to break in the middle for a question-and-answer session. "If you have hands, raise 'em, or if you don't, have someone raise their hand for you," he instructed. Many hands rose up among the crowd. Bowser scanned the audience before he pointed to a Fire Bro. "You with the red shell."

A Lakitu in the air with a mike lowered it down to the Fire Bro. The Koopa tapped on it twice before speaking, "I know you said you'd go over it in the next half, but I gotta know now: will there be lava?"

Bowser gave a toothy grin. "Absolutely."

The crowd whooped and hollered at the news. Bowser eventually brought up his hand for them to quiet before looking over the mass of troops for a new person to pick. The new lenses were really proving their worth; everything was just way more crisp, and he was able to more readily make out the people in the back––

Wait. His eyes flicked back to the rear rows. Red and green sat next to each other, which wasn't unusual considering the composition of his army, but was that a pair of mustaches he saw on the two?

With a growl, he bent his legs and jumped, soaring over the audience. Screams filled the air as people rushed out of the way, leaving a clear area for Bowser to land on––right in front of the infamous Mario brothers.

The chairs they sat on hopped into the air at the impact, falling back down shortly after. Mario's chair stayed upright, while the green one's fell backwards with him on it. "Hello!" Mario greeted with a wave as Greenie––er, Luigi––sat up, holding his head.

"What are you two _doing_ here?!" he yelled out, making all the minions jump around him––except for the ones soundly asleep sitting next to the brothers. (Bowser would have _a lot_ to say to those baddies after the meeting was over.) "It's not Go-Kart Saturday, or even Tennis Friday!"

Luigi stood up, worry in his eyes as he rubbed the back of his head. Still, he wasn't shaking like a Tanooki Leaf like he used to when he saw Bowser back in the day. "W-We're here for the MMM," he said, with Mario nodding along to his words.

Bowser brought his head back, taken aback. "The MMM––" he repeated to himself before shaking his head and baring his teeth again. "What do you _mean_ the MMM?!"

Luigi raised his index finger. "You know, the MMM. It stands for Monthly Minion––"

"I _know_ what it stands for! I mean, why are you _here_ for the MMM!"

"W-Well," Luigi began, "every Koopa Troop member is supposed to attend the meetings, i-if able."

Bowser blinked and looked around at all the minions around him, _Can you believe this?_ conveyed in his eyes. His attention returned to the brothers with a humph. "While that is true, you forgot the part where you aren't members!"

"Uh, but... we are," Luigi said.

Mario reached over into his pocket and pulled out a laminated card. "I have the card to prove it!"

"What?! Give me that," he snapped, swinging his arm and snatching the card from Mario's hand. There was no way it was official!

He poured over the tiny thing, mumbling under his breath. Photo, check; red bowser stamp, check; "Mwuahahahahaha!" written on it in his handwriting, check. It even had the right amount of "ha"s! It was either an insanely good knockoff or the real deal!

"I can show you my card, too, if you want," Luigi said.

"No, I don't!" Bowser shouted, throwing the card to the ground. Mario picked it up, blew the dust off and pocketed it. "It's obviously a fake! To become part of the troop _I_ have to say you can, and there is no way I let you two join!"

"Uh... but you did."

Bowser growled and narrowed his eyes. "When could I have possibly done that?"

"Um, well, in Mario's case, it was when you two joined to fight, uh, who was it, Smitty?"

"Smithy," Mario corrected.

"Right, right, Smithy. Y-You see, I wouldn't know, because I wasn't there," Luigi explained as he glanced sideways at Mario.

"I was too busy to get you!" Mario protested.

Luigi waved his hand at Mario in a dismissive but playful manner before he continued. "And, uh, well, you kinda chased me and forced me to join when Peach's voice got stolen."

Bowser opened his mouth only to slowly and hesitantly close it as the memories came flowing. He did remember saying that Mario could join the Koopa Troop so that they could get his castle back, and he did go after Luigi to add him to the troop before he learned he was Mario's brother...

Wait a moment. "That was a long time ago! How long have you been going to these meetings?!"

"Uh..." Luigi trailed off, scratching his head as Mario began to wordlessly count off his fingers. Bowser's heart dropped a little when Mario continued on to his second hand and then went back to the first. "L-Let's just go with a while," Luigi interjected, making Mario stop.

"How often have you gone to 'em?!" Bowser asked, his horror rising.

"Oh, we try to attend each month, and sometimes to the surprise meetings, although we can't always because of a plumbing job. And there was one time Mario got sick, and I didn't wanna leave him alone at the house, so I didn't––"

"Sh-Shut it!" Bowser exclaimed, losing his composure. He scanned over the crowd. "Who's the one who cards people?"

A blue stub raised in the air, barely above the Koopa Troopas around it. The crowd split to show the blue Shy Guy raising her hand.

_"Why_ would you let _them in?!"_ he yelled.

She dropped her hand. "I was told to let anyone in who had an official card. Yeah, they're the Mario Bros., and they kinda suck because of that, but their cards are legit."

Bowser was absolutely floored. It would have been one thing had they been sneaking in, but they had been _walking_ in! _Leisurely!_

Bowser flared his nostrils. "Alright, that's it!" He pointed at the two. "Get them!"

Instead of the pile of Goombas jumping onto them like he had expected, he was instead met with a lot of hesitation and looking at each other. Oh, he could feel a huge anger-induced headache setting in... "What is your problem?!" he asked, utterly exasperated.

"Lord Bowser," a Goomba––wasn't he the one Bowser had stripped of captain rank?––began, "a Koopa Troop member isn't supposed to hurt their fellow minions! But they are the Mario Bros..." The strain of the cogs of the Goomba's brain working was obvious on his face. "I-I've never been so conflicted in all my life!" he exclaimed. The red Shy Guy beside him gently patted his head.

"I'm not conflicted," Private Goomp said. When the two brothers faced him after those words, he took a step back. "And by that I of course mean that I'm also very conflicted."

Bowser growled, holding onto his head and scrunching his eyes shut. Everyone turned to him expectedly, thinking he was about to face the two himself out of sheer frustration. Instead, he stopped growling, let out a long breath and pinched the bridge of his nose. Bowser did _not_ feel like fighting. Junior had woken him up in the middle of the night over a nightmare, so he hadn't slept so well, and soon after the meeting, Bowser was supposed to attend one of Lemmy's performances. If he missed it because he was battling it out with the brothers, then Lemmy would be sad, and _nobody_ liked it when Lemmy was sad. Oh, and there was also that headache throbbing at his temples.

"Just... could you just leave?" Bowser asked.

Luigi frowned, a little upset. "Aw, but what about the goodie bag at the end of the meetings?"

Bowser grunted. "Lakilee!" he barked out. Said Lakitu flew over to him, dropped one of the goodie bags into his outstretched hand and flew off.

He shoved the bag into Luigi's hands. "Now go. Just go! Leave."

The two brothers looked at each other before Mario stood up from his chair and the two began the slow trek out of the auditorium. Bowser watched them go until the big doors shut behind them with a loud creak. The sound made one of the sleeping minions awake with a start, frantically looking about and trying to figure out what was going on.

Bowser heaved out a sigh before he turned and walked back to the stage, feeling too worn out mentally to jump back to the stage. Once he was back to his podium, he spoke slowly into the mike, "Does anybody else have a question?"

No one moved or made a noise.

"Good. Moving on..."

* * *

As the two brothers walked down the long hallway with red carpet, Luigi had a frown on his face. Eventually, he asked, "Do you think we shouldn't go to Lemmy's circus act after all of that?"

Mario hummed in thought for a moment. "It would be rude if we didn't go," he surmised. "We told Lemmy we would."

"Yeah, you're right. Hey, do you mind going to the gift shop? We haven't gone there in a while."

Mario smiled. "Let's go!" he agreed, following Luigi into the nearby store.

**Author's Note:**

> This is silly, but I had fun writing this! This was inspired by Bowser saying that both of the bros were part of the Koopa Troop in two games (possibly more, but I'm not sure). I also don't think the bros officially left the troop after said games, so they could technically still be part of it.


End file.
